To Catch a Thief

French justice was served as 2 pickpockets were nabbed on my train yesterday.  I was coming back home from The Forum at Les Halles--Chatelet station, which (I think) is the biggest station in Paris.  It also connects to the airport and a giant mall (The Forum), so people are carrying luggage and it is always jam-packed--in fact, someone needs to slap me if I decide I want to go back over there--think of The Galleria & Intercontinental Airport combined...good pickins' for pockets, if you know what I mean.

The metro was really crowded, which is prime pickpocket time....Next thing I know, a man ran by me (which took real skill on a crowded metro) and yelled "Pickpockets!!!"  There was a scuffle, and then there was screaming, (in French of course) and then 2 teenage girls were branded as the pickpockets. The man who was the head pickpocket catcher started yelling at the girls and asking passengers to call the police.  I understood everything that was happening, but just in case, a lady sitting across from me narrated the story (in English, which I appreciated) as she & I bonded through desire to stay away from the catching, yet remain close enough to view the suspects.

So, just to pass along my new friend's warning:  She said the pickpockets are always girls, which was not what I pictured at all.  She said there are always 2-3 of them.  One gets your attention, while the others get into your bag or wallet.  I guess I always picture criminals as ugly looking men who need to shave and wear a permanent scowl.  These girls looked like they could have been friends of my 2 daughters. Totally normal teenage girls.

The pickpocket catcher (with encouragement from the crowd) corralled the girls and held their wrists for the next 5 stops, all the while lecturing the girls and stopping occasionally to address the interested passengers with details about his crime-fighting expertise and plan to deposit them at the nearest police station.  A fellow pickpocket vigilante managed to call the police from the train (there is a panic button on every metro) and apparently, the Charles De Gaulle/Etoile stop had the nearest police station.  Pickpocket Catcher man dragged them off to justice as the rest of the train nodded their approval.  I, meanwhile, snapped a photo.  Couldn't help myself.

The Pickpocket Catcher

Cars N The Hood, the REALLY TINY version

Because space is at such a premium here, everyone seems to drive not only small cars, but really TINY ones.  With my 5'9" daughter, Katherine, (and Max) as my scale model, here are some we found.  However, these are not the smallest!!  Had to add this clip from one of my fav shows, the BBC's Top Gear.  If you've never seen the show before, you will want to check it out.  It's a favorite in both the US & the UK.

BTW, if you wondered which car in the garage is mine, here it is...

Yes, it's a Volkswagen Passat.  That's the way we roll.

Cars N The Hood, Part Deux

Lots of Jaguars <yawn>

Mini Coopers are super popular here along with the new Fiat 500.

Ho, hum, lots of Porsches including the new 4-doors, convertibles & SUVs.

Here's something to write home about:  a vintage Bentley!   Equipped with steering wheel on right side & baby seat in back, WHAT???

Remember these?  MG convertible!!  Max, get away from the tire!!

Had to take a pic of the gorgeous interior!

Maybe some lucky driver owns the MG & the Bentley?

I liked this one quite a bit:  Maserati--don't see those too often in Houston!

Ciao!

Just another dusty Alfa Romeo.

Cars N The Hood

 It's mostly pictures to share today as I find myself fascinated with all the cars in my new neighborhood.  Coming from Texas, where it's SUV City, I have enjoyed seeing all the compact cars.  Not so much if I have to fold up my 6 foot frame to ride in them.  We have an underground parking space--5 floors below ground, so of course, I dragged Katherine and Max down there to see what kind of cars my neighbors drive...

Do you recognize this one?  I didn't, so I did a little research and found it is a British-made Morgan. Beauty!! I plan to start hanging around on the corner more so I can meet the owner and get a ride.  I mean, that's just common sense, right?

Retails for about $70,000

I'm a huge James Bond fan.  You can't ever sneak an Aston Martin by me, until recently when Paul found this little gem.  It's the Cygnet, with the signature Aston Martin touches on this tiny car.  The inside is beautiful red leather with the iconic grille and wings on back.  I just could not believe it was actually an Aston Martin!!  

In the parking garage, I found the real deal:  an Aston Martin James Bond would be proud of:

Here it is with it's special cover on! It's a db9!!  My picture came out too dark, so here it is from the website:

http://www.astonmartin.com/cars/the-new-db9

yep, it's a Ferrari...with bird poop on the hood.

I am the French Whisperer! Maybe!!

When anyone found out we were moving to Paris, their first question was "Do you speak French?"  Since  March,  this is a question we have heard many times--literally making us laugh out loud as we heard it from everyone, everywhere.  We began work with a tutor to get us started speaking French back in April.  Paul has French class at work, the girls will take French in school and I will have lessons here in Paris soon.  Thanks to our friend Ryan Bradley, we also got Rosetta Stone and like it quite a bit.  We are quickly learning lots of vocabulary words and reading French is going great.  If life could be as easy as reading a sign in a store or restaurant menu, we'd doing be fine, or at least as good as Chris Farley & Alec Baldwin.

I keep saying that I am learning French by osmosis:  they speak and somehow, I just know what they are saying--most of the time anyway.  Gee, for any of us Texans, we've been speaking Spanish by osmosis all our lives--like with my yard crew and housekeeper.  We always communicated through a series of charades and "Spanglish" and that was pretty successful.  But, when the conversation gets more detailed, my French osmosis method fails me. For instance:  Ask where the futon couches are sold for the loft bed you want to purchase.  The bed is on the 4th floor, but there are no futons on this floor and there are 6 floors in the store.  Also, how much does the bed cost and does that include the mattress and/or the futon? Are there delivery charges? What colors does the futon come in? Go ahead--let me know how that high school/college French class you took about 20 years ago works now.  LOL

Also tricky was getting cell phone service (4 trips to Orange, our cell/internet/wifi provider), finding a place to board the dogs the very first week, and getting Navigo cards. (Navigo is the pass for all types of public transport, which is very important, since we use public transportation now.  MANY forms to fill out, + individual pictures required = 3 trips to their office).

I will tell you how extremely grateful I am for the technology now available to help us here in our French Adventure.  We all use itranslate on our phones, which is a great free app on the iphone.  I even cut and paste emails/text messages and it translates them.  You can enter either English or French, and you can switch between the two languages--it's fabulous. Did I mention FREE?

We were also introduced recently to Google Chrome, by my daughter, Katherine.  When you use this browser, it will translate the pages for you.  This was super helpful as we had to order some books for the girls for summer reading from French Amazon, so I could access the site in English and order what I needed.  Voila`! (That's French for "Got it!")

No one can understate the importance of GPS.  Thank you, Lord, for GPS!!!  We are able to find anything, anywhere all over the city.  I don't want to face a world without GPS, just sayin'....I recently installed the RATP app as well, which is the city's transportation network of subway, buses, trams and trains, so that connects to my GPS, which allows me to program in my trip and show me the fastest way to get anywhere--it's really slick!  I definitely recommend anyone coming for a visit to add the RATP app to your phone.  And, faithful readers, if you do visit, I am happy to be your tour guide!  I will share everything you need to know about the City of Light-- all the knowledge my one month of living here can provide!  (But seriously, let me know if you are coming, and I will do my best to share some helpful hints.)

Of course, this whole language barrier situation reminds me of a song that needs singing, so I post for your enjoyment, "Speaking French" from the musical "Lucky Stiff".  Remember, don't smile too much, they'll think you're insane.  Apologize for your bad French, and they'll injure themselves to help you.  At least, it's working for me so far.  Au revoir!

Would you like your douche with Dop or Gras?

Bonjour, Ya'll!
Thanks for reading my little column and all your great feedback.  A reader wanted to know which kinds of things from "back home" we are missing?  While it's true we do miss Whataburger, shaved ice and personal bathroom space, we are really excited about some of the new wonderful products we have found here in Paris!

We begin with toothpaste....

You're probably wondering "How good can something called Vademecum be inside my mouth?"  Maybe they just need an endorsement like this one:

"Mother never told me about how Vademecum could make my smile so SEXY!"  It tastes even better than Sanogyl, too!!"

Hmm, not quite right, is it?  Maybe with a more European spokesmodel,  it would seem more exciting...How about Roger Federer?  He's gorgeous, has great teeth and I would buy anything he sells!

Too bad Roger is not showing his great teeth here, but who cares?  Superhot!!!  Wait a minute, what was this post about?

Next, to the lotion section:  I somehow lost my favorite lotion along the way as we traveled from Houston to Fort Collins, Colorado, to Tampa, Florida, then back to Fort Collins, then to Houston, then finally here to Paris...okay, that probably explains how I lost it...so I went out looking for some new lotion.  Here's what I saw:

DOP? Dop of what?  Is that like a dollop of Daisy sour cream?

Hmmm, not sure I wanted to rub any Dop or Gras on my body...Nivea is available (which is good) and has a name I recognize.  Problem for me is that lotion, body wash, deodorant and shampoo all are packaged in the same size/type bottles, so it's really hard to figure out which one is which.  And, "douche" is the French word for shower, by the way.  So do you want your douche with Dop or Gras?

Next, food & drink:  Faithful readers may remember my earlier post about French math:  Any food + Chocolate = Breakfast.  Look at this chocolate milk--yes, it does say "Candy Up"!!  Makes me happy I retired from teaching--wouldn't want a whole class full of kids who were "Candied Up"!!

Comes in vanilla or berry, too!

This was something that caught my eye:  Rince Cochon  Maybe that is French for "Pork Beer"?

After looking this up (used my Google Chrome translate!), I found out this is actually Belgian beer!  Not sure I want to purchase a beer with a pig on the label drinking beer, I mean how many pigs drink beer?  Notice the label on bottom--"sucre rouge"-- red sugar.  I don't always drink pork beer, but when I do, it's filled with red sugar!!!

and speaking of sugar....
The only sugar brand I have seen so far--maybe they have the monopoly on the market here--is "Daddy".  You want some sugar?  Try Daddy!  To me, this name brings a negative image to mind that I don't really want when I'm trying to fix up my coffee in the morning.

French Breakfast Foods

The cookie aisle?  NOPE!  Breakfast aisle!!

More chocolate breakfast items, mmm!

And, if you want a variety of chocolate cereals, we have it here!!

Last but not least, miscellaneous products:  Soupline?  I think this might be fabric softener, but for French illiterates (like me) you might be confused and try to cook with it.  or bathe your baby in it.  Which are 2 totally unrelated things but appear to go together on this label.  Baby soup, anyone?

Le Chat (translates as "The Cat"), is a company that offers all types of products including personal care items, laundry care, and cleaning products, etc.  What can I say?  I'm just not a "cat" person anyway, but when I clean, Le Chat doesn't strike a chord with me--I start thinking of cat LITTER and that's just kinda gross.  I mean, I'm a dog person.

Skip!  Skip to my Lou!  Or skip to the washing machine--I know I do that all the time--just skip, skip, skip around because I get so excited about laundry.  Or, hit those stains with some Gama! You got Gama?  Or is it one of those homespun products:

"Use Gama to get clothes as clean as your own Gama!"

 Interesting Aside:  my dryer has a reservoir that you must empty after every load--no kidding!  I take it out from the bottom and pour out all the water after each load of clothes I dry.  

Just 1:  I think this toliet paper is advertising that you only use 1 square per visit??   Heck, if that's true, this 6-pack may last me the rest of the year!  

So, as you can see, there are many cool products here for us to discover.  So when you come to visit, don't worry about bringing any of the familiar products we may be missing from the US, except maybe some extra toliet paper for yourself.

*DISCLAIMER:

When we visited Paris in April to look for a place to live, I forgot my mascara.  I started looking for "Boots", the fabulous British drugstore chain, thinking France might have Boots, too, or at least something similar.  (Actually, Boots is coming to the US in all the Target stores, you lucky dogs!)  Boots has everything you need and quite a few other things you may not need but just HAVE to have--it's awesome and pretty cheap, too.  Here in France there is no Boots.  Drug stores are expensive--mascara is like 10 Euros & higher, which is about 13 US dollars.  (Yikes!!)  So, I put LOTS of drugstore-type stuff in our air shipment--so therefore have not tried any of the wonderful products described here today.  

Supermarket of Shame

It had to happen sometime, so maybe it's better that I got it over with after only a month here.  I am referring to a cultural stumble, of course.  One of those moments where everyone knows what to do except the new person (me) so it feels really humilitating that you (I) had no idea what to do.  Kinda of like that one time I went to a Catholic funeral and stood up when everyone else started kneeling.  My Protestant self was wondering why that padded running board was on the bottom of the pew.  Turns out it was for kneeling and they do a serious amount of kneeling in the Catholic church.  Or maybe it was just that funeral.  Any way, my day at the supermarket yesterday was equaling as embarassing with no kind hearted Catholics any where in sight to say "Bless your heart!" and make me feel better.

So first I should tell you that the grocery stores here are much smaller than what I am used to in Texas--especially for a dedicated HEB-shopper as myself.  There are probably at least 300 types of cereal at HEB.  So maybe there is huge culture-shock when an ex-pat comes to one of our grocery stores and sees all that.  But, they're probably like "I'm in cereal heaven!!" vs. where I am:  cereal hell.  No Honey Nut Cheerios, Chex of any kind or my latest favorite, Multi-Grain Cheerios.  I could even be happy with Total Rain Bran (yummy!).  Virtually every cereal (and anything breakfast actually) contains chocolate.  I am not joking about this.  Chocolate!!!  My daughter, Laura, is totally happy with this situation--loves all the chocolate breakfast foods.  She's eating Nesquik cereal every day! Okay, I'm off-topic...back to the grocery stores....

Breakfast of Champions:  the chocolate pain

The biggest milk container I have found so far & the smallest wine!  Wine was 50 euro cents!

So, they are much smaller, which means less choice.  Also, not many brands or items I've seen before.  An added twist is no baskets.  So you first walk to the store, then as you shop, you fill your bag (that you brought from home), then carry it home.  No boot camp or cross-fit needed over here in Paris--we got grocery shopping for a work out.  (Bonus: you can go several times each day!).  You can't really get a lot of stuff, because, how much can you carry?  Or at least, how much can I carry and not look completely insane?  Also, I have found, I cannot possibly get every item on my list at one store.  So, I go several times a day to several stores.  Yay for burning calories!!

Back to my shameful supermarket story... Katherine nicely came along with me as Paul had spotted a new, larger market in Suresnes.  An added bonus was that is is about 5 stops away on our bus line, so hop on the bus, shop and ride home.  Sounds easy, right?  Well, the store was much larger and had cheaper food--excitement!!!  I brought my rolling cart along with 2 big bags, ready to bring home the bacon, literally--we have not seen any bacon here at any of the stores!!  Katherine & I found all kinds of things we want to cook and even some Cheerios!! (Miel-flavored=honey! Yay!!) We were careful to look at all the pictures on the labels, which is super-important to distinguish between cow, pig, and goat.  Especially in the dairy case.  Lucky for us, we have been shopping for a month, so we're practically experts.

Here's the twist in the tale: the produce section!!!  However, any produce problems were unknown to me until getting in the check-out line.  Of course, all the other people in line don't understand about only making one trip to the grocery store each week, so they were only purchasing like an apple or some toliet paper.  Katherine and I had 2 bags and a Rollster full of groceries, outsmarting everyone!  But, then the checker turned and told everyone in line how stupid I was (in French of course).  She couldn't speak Engligh, but hey, I speak French by osmosis, so I knew what she was saying.  Finally, a nice lady said, do you want me to show you how to do it?  Do what I thought?  She took me over to the produce and showed me how I was supposed to weigh it, touch a tiny picture of the produce on a board above the scale, then press that particular button, then a sticker pops out to put on the produce with it's weight and price.  Do you know how many different fruits and vegetables there were on that buttom board??  and, it goes without saying that the names were all in French. So, I took the walk of shame to go weigh and sticker my produce, which was LOTS since I had gotten all excited about the big supermarket.  As I am weighing and stickering, the whole line of people who had accumulated behind me had to stand and wait as I translated, weighed, and stickered.  Further distinguising me to my friends at the Suresnes Monoprix, was my t-shirt, given to me by my friend Aimee--hot pink with a big Texas on it and it says "No place like home".  <Sigh>.

Seen on the Seine, Chapter Deux

Just some glimpses from the Metro to Montmarte.  We got our TV (after only waiting about 2 weeks--the delivery guys dropped it and broke it!!)  Bought a vacuum cleaner & printer and now on the hunt for some new furniture.  There could be many posts about buying new furniture...it's tiny and low to the ground, which doesn't sit well (literally!!) with a family of legs like ours where the shortest person is 5'7".  Stay tuned for more to come!

Metro entertainment:  puppet show about "Gaston" calling someone=lost in translation

Ls Grande Arche de la Defense

Think I'll get this piece for my foyer--it feels very Mad Men

riding the big escalator in the metro

taken from the boat on the Seine on the Fat Bike Tour

Notre Dame( using my flash) at night

One of the sofas we liked that was actually large enough for us...sadly, each little seat/square is
850 Euros (about $1100)

We're City Dogs Now

Living life with the windows down

One of our biggest challenges throughout this international move was to bring our dogs with us to Paris.  Many of you have asked how they are doing, what the trip was like, and what it took to get them here, so here is the latest lowdown on Max & Coco:

Max

CoCo Chanel Nornes

Prologue: The Vision

To bring a dog to France requires a European Union pet passport (translation: tons of forms) plus the cost of the plane ticket.  First you must determine if the dog, or in our case, dogs, will travel with you on the plane or in the hold.  Of course, we have all heard or read the stories about pets dying in the hold, so horrors!  Who wants to fly their dogs THERE?  Myth busted!  The hold was a great place to fly our dogs--it was climate-controlled, pressurized and they could bark to their hearts' content without disturbing the other passengers.  One thing we have found is that here in France, they LOVE dogs, so flying Air France is a great choice for transporting pets.  Also, if you bring your dog on board, the dog + the crate must weigh 13 kg or less and fit under the seat.  Our dogs are about 10-11 pounds, plus even a soft-sided crate = more than 13 kg and I don't even know the metric system.  If you are on a long flight (such as Houston-Paris) that is 8-10 hours, you won't be able to lay your seat down and sleep either, because there is no room for the dog in the crate and the dogs cannot get out once on the plane.  Also, there are only certain dog crates acceptable for flight either on the plane or in the hold.  You have to get the right one.  (yes, Air France offers one for about $200....)

Episode 2:  The Paper Chase

As mentioned earlier, many forms and documents are required to bring your dog to another country.  In France, no quarantine is required, so at least that's easy.  (The only easy part!)  Each dog must be vaccinated against rabies, kennel cough and several other things I had never heard of, but here's the kicker:  the rabies vaccine must be within a month of travel and also must be done prior to the microchipping (which must be an international microchip).  The dogs must be examined and deemed healthy, parasite-free and ready to travel by a USDA-certified vet within 10 days of travel.  So, you take the dogs for the exam, get all the forms filled out (there are about 6 pages for each dog) by the USDA vet and send to Austin (or your state's USDA headquarters).  You overnight the papers to Austin, because USDA must overnight them back to you, so you can have the papers in hand for the flight to France.  This can be seriously complicated when you have already made plans to go to your family reunion in Colorado for the 10 days prior to leaving the country.  Did I mention the cost of boarding our dogs at the USDA-certified vet while we were in Colorado?  (Aside: after printing out all the forms necessary for the dogs' travel, I left them on our bar, so the whole lot were packed by our super-speedy packers before I could blink twice.  Lucky for us, we had our good friend, Bill, helping us.  More about Bill later in The Credits.)

Episode 3: The Incredible Journey

We completed the forms, got the correct crates, shots, pills, Max & CoCo were deemed parasite-free and ready to go.  Of course, I spoke to AF several times, including going out to the Houston AF gate to weigh the dogs in crates and speak to a supervisor.  Reservations must be booked by phone to fly the dogs, so no booking online.  Happily, Paul's company helped us with this part.  Being nervous about flying with 2 teens, 2 dogs, 13 bags and moving to Paris, we arrived around noon for our 4:00 departure to Paris.  AF only offers this direct flight once daily from Houston, so they suggested we arrive early to have extra time to check all the bags. Unfortunately, after getting checked-in and finding our flight was delayed until 6:00, we waited until 8:00 to find the flight was cancelled. So, our last night in Houston was spent at an Econolodge in Humble, but we had high hopes for the next day's flight.  

Episode 4: Groundhog Day aka The Incredible Journey Day Deux

Did it all again--everything went really smoothly--dogs & family got on board flight to Paris.  WHEW!!!

Episode 5: Up In the Air

Well, I couldn't ever sleep on the plane because I was worried the whole time about the dogs, but I did eat some really great food, have white & red wine along with some tasty champagne.  Watched several excellent movies including "Argo"...or was that my flight in April?  Can't remember now...But, when we reached Paris, the dogs came off the plane just fine.  We immediately leashed them to let them relieve themselves.  They were happy.  Actually, neither of them pooped in their crates, which was a bonus, since our ride to the hotel took over an hour from the airport.

Epilogue:  Dog Days of Summer

The dogs are adapting to city life with all its chaos.  Their barking has lessened as they have adjusted to hearing so many people on the street below--we have no A/C, so windows are open all the time now.  Living in a 3rd floor apartment has been a big change after having a big backyard with a pool.  We put them on a schedule of walking morning, mid-day, afternoon and bedtime, which is working out great.  Laura made a schedule in excel giving each of us all dog walking duties.  We've only had a few accidents in the house, which is pretty good for 2 jet-lagged and spastic Yorkies.  Max has had some stomach issues over the past year that we couldn't resolve, but after reading my friend Shelley Harrington's FB post about additives in dog food, I did some research to find some food that might help.  It seems he could have food allergies, so I got him Fish 4 Dogs, which has no corn or wheat or any other gross stuff that is in some dog foods.  He is doing much better (finally!) and has gained some weight.  Easy to pick up poop, if you get my drift.

 The Credits:  It Takes a Village

Our thanks and appreciation goes out to our friends, Bill & Tricia for helping us through the last few days of lost doggie paperwork, lost passports and FedEx-ing forms.  Bill mailed our USDA forms to Austin, got them back and delivered them to us while we were in Colorado.  He also printed them out again when they got packed.  We also appreciate Champion Wood Animal Hospital & Dr. Osborne along with his peppy & helpful staff who filled out forms, stayed open late for us and boarded the dogs.  Who knew a USDA-certified vet was my neighbor at Gleannloch Farms? Thanks also to the fine folks at AF who did a great job helping us out and letting me know the dogs made it on the plane after we took off.  (WHAT??  There was a chance you would leave them??  I never though of that!!!!)

Max gazing at the pigeons from his 3rd floor vantage point